I guess I drink mouthwash tonight.

The bottle says it has “hints of raisins, dark fruit, and rum.” I say it has hints of menopausal angst, Lemon Pledge and plain old ass. You know when you go over to a non-beer-drinker’s house and they offer you one of the three bottles of beer that have been sitting in their fridge since 2003? Schell’s SnowStorm is like one of those beers.

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I fail at all the manly arts, except for drinking. That's the one at which I excel.

4 thoughts on “I guess I drink mouthwash tonight.”

  1. What?! Really?! Are you sure you had a 2007 Snowstorm? At the risk of sounding like the beer snob I am, I wonder–or hope–that maybe you’re just not familiar with Belgian-style beers. Sure, it doesn’t come close to a Chimay Red or a Kwak or other dubbel styles, and I’ll even accept that you just plain don’t like this style, but ass? Mouthwash? C’mon, really?!

  2. The raisin angle has been getting a lot of play. Perhaps even if you didn’t like it, you can take comfort in the fact that it might make you a bit more regular.

  3. I have a feeling we won’t share the same opinions, but you will provide mild, if irritated chuckles. “Menopausal angst”? Taste some of that, lately, have you?
    P.S. clean those Gluek cans off of your lawn or I’m calling the neighborhood association!

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