Please follow dosage instructions.

 The back of the staggering, Strongbow-esque, Surly Furious can asks this query, “A tempest on the tongue, or a moment of pure hop bliss?” Where doth this scribe come from? After reading this and taking a few swigs of the beer I felt my review was written for me.

That is, at first tongue splash, understatedly I am unequivocally unimpressed. But after imbibing and cocking my head to contemplate, I reconsidered. A subtle yet striking flavor. I definitely couldn’t drink the whole four-pack, which they are sold in, better yet finish off two. Though, it’s too solid and strong a brew to be downed with such frivolity and not recommended.

All in all, it’s a beer that catches its drinkers off-guard, after they’ve already made their own presumptions. It is after a good half-can that like a true tempest with all its furiousness comes out of the green skies and makes you realize just how strong a force of nature it really is. 

Like a punctured Earth…

If I could take all the things I love about the other Flat beer, Flat Tire, mix it with a smooth yet yeasty aftertaste add a mix of ambiguous flavors and gently let a beer maiden churn the fruits and oats into sublimeness, I would say it comes close to Flat Earth Belgium Pale Ale. Why close? Because like every good American I have a short attention span, pleasure seeker—although I can watch a whole soccer match. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the excellence of the Pale Ale but I want something different, the next best Flat beer and surely this doesn’t keep me from glancing around for the next beer maiden and her trusty fruit and oats.

Taking me to a place… I’ve already imagined

At first sight I noticed it’s frothiness, it replied with a beseeching gaze. It was definitely dark, although with a tinge of redness, yet not too thick–it must know me quite well! After exchanging glances I finally took it by the glass and sipped from its heaving… okay, enough with the starry-eyed allusions.  Upon further examination I found the Gluek Honey Bock very tasty, delicious even. It was savory yet not as strong and filling as it appears (I enjoy most beers light in colored and wheaty). Having my fair share of Gluek beers I can definitely say that every one has been well-rounded, tasty and… expected. In every way it meets expectations but in those same areas it doesn’t kick it up a notch. Although not from the land of the rising sun it can be compared to a Toyota: always reliable, logical  but never innovative. But just like most weekends that’s exactly what I need.