This is a punk rock beer

The bloody brit punkers wore tartan and ripped tee shirts. The germans wore modified blue and white table clothes. This beer is not for hippies or fascists. This beer will spit in your face and you will love it. This beer will head butt you, slam your skinny ass to the floor and crush your face with it’s combat boots. Ach Du lieber!

Enjoy in moderation.

Looks great in a ditch!

I love the Schell logo and branding. The deer junk they’ve been doing over the past few years is fantastic. The Pilsner label stands up to all the other Schell labels in its awesomeness and the bottle cap design is even slightly more ass-kicky. But what really makes a beer great is how its bottle or can holds up in a ditch over a Minnesota winter.

I, as a former beer can collector, can say that Schell is the shit! I picked many a Schell can out of the ditches in west central Minnesota. For xmas on year, my mom bought some weird plastic wall mount racks so I could display my collection (to myself). My bedroom smelled like musty, stanky, stale beer.  Some of that stank was from a fine variety of Schell cans collected in the late 70s.

And the beer is GREAT to drink in moderation. Props to my old pal Dave who is a brewmaster at Schell. Go Dave!

Screen printed bottles

I checked out the Brau Bros. website last week which got me pretty amped up for two reasons. Reason 1 – Screen printed bottle labels right in the brewery – THAT is COOL. Reason 2 – Brau Sister, Kate, looks pretty hot.

The bottle I am holding in my hand at this very moment is not screen printed. The label is a sticker with a transparent backing. Please, Brau Bros., tell me that this was not sister Kate’s idea. She knows better. She is much too hot to cut corners like that! Listen to your hot sister. Continue to screen print the bottles.

The beer is pretty good to drink in moderation.

This beer made my hand shrink

Either my hand shrunk or this beer was built for a giant. Imagine how heavy a 12 pack of these jugs would be. The gigantic bottle provides a nice oversized canvas for the exceptionally tasty Flat Earth Brewing Co. logo and graphics. I read somewhere that the guy in the blue suit is Geddy Lee’s step dad who accidentally discovered the Cygnus X-1 black hole with a pair of ill focused binoculars. Clearly he is a happy man, proudly gazing thirstily at his beer mug, oblivious to the fact that he is about to be swallowed by a swirling pastel vortex.

The beer is delicious in moderation.

Is that a Chank font?